Sunday, September 19, 2010


I have stand at a register, fake a smile, and pretend I am so interested in the assholes that shop at Whole Foods. Yes, some of the people that go there are cool, like anywhere else, but I don't want to be forced to engage every fucking customer. Most customers don't want to engage me either. In fact, a lot of them ignore me or give me a fake response. Good interactions are spontaneous and unforced. I have great conversations sometimes, but they happen on there own with people I can relate to. How am I supposed to relate to a woman with fake boobs, collagen lips, buying a People magazine and the latest exotic, weight-loss, super-food. 
"I like your tits, where's you get them? What reality shows do you watch?"
Fuck off.
I also believe the customer is usually wrong. The person working at whatever place is there 20 to 40 hours a week. It's their job. I'm sure there are well informed customers that know more, but they are not the norm and should not be the foundation of customer service. A customer tells me something completely idiotic or yells at me because we ran out of anal douches and I'm supposed to say, I'm sorry? 
I highly recommend the documentary, "I like Killing Flies." It's about a diner in New York that is run by a Soup-Nazish owner. He'll kick you out for breaking any rule, like asking for a table for 5. I believe that's how businesses should be run. Maybe not as extreme, but with the same philosophy of equality and balance. Pretend you're not at work, act accordingly. The owner/manager should always take the side of reality, not the customer's or the employee's. If the customer is an idiot, let them know they are wrong. None of this stupid comping shit for a whiny asshole. If a worker is being treated like shit, they should have the right to defend themselves, even kick that bastard out. Now, if the worker abuses this right, than they should have consequences too. It's so obvious and simple.
I remember going to businesses in Venezuela and refused service because my bill was too large and they had no change. Annoyed, I was told to get out. I appreciate that genuine interaction. Sure, it wasn't very business savvy and kind of dumb to keep so little change, but that's not the point. They didn't give me an empty fake smile, like I get here. How many times can a person say "hi, how are you today?" before their soul shrivels away? The customer should have the burden of proof. Prove to me, with sound, logical, facts and I'll agree.
I don't go shopping or even out to eat to have my asshole licked by some over-worked and miserable employee. I especially detest the one's that are all bubbly and over-eager to please me and their managers. Have you no fucking dignity.
I do the best I can to do a good job. I am reliable and fulfill my duties. I help a customer to the best of my abilities when treated respectfully.  Why should I act like an idiot as well? 
Consumer culture, that's why. Everyone is so desperate to bleed every last fucking penny out of every last person that they do anything to please the customer. One day we'll be getting free blowjobs with every purchase. It's pathetic. 

So on top of standing at a fucking register for 8 hours, my team-leader (how pseudo-non-hierarchical) wants, no, needs me to ask every customer to donate to put salad bars in schools. So now I have to ask for fucking charity as well? She wants us to win some stupid competition with other stores to raise the most money. "It'll raise moral." Raise moral, by doing something I detest, for something I don't even believe in? Right. 

I hate charity. It's a stupid cop-out and band-aid for a shitty system. How about using tax money to put good food in schools and kicking out private companies that sell junk food and advertise in public schools? We spend billions, if not trillions on war, greedy corporations, and corrupt politicians. Oh yes, capitalism is working so fucking well.

Let's fucking make as much useless crap as we can and sell it to each other Make it so we need to replace it for nice new model, so everyone knows we can afford to be up top date and in fashion. Then base our entire economy on it. Great idea. Those socialists and their ideas of working together for the greater good of society are such assholes.